Missed
by Jammix
Summary: What happens when the one thing you were good at, the one thing you relied on, is slowly slipping away from you? Tenten wonders this as she stared at her untouched target, worrying about her future. A struggle with weakness, doubts and the hurt of being as useless as she always promised she'd never be.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I worried. I worried a lot, actually. Because, unlike most, there wasn't any guarantee for my future as a shinobi. I didn't have the promise of becoming a great legend. I didn't have the strength or determination, or the brains, or the brawn, or the beauty and I sure as hell wasn't a prodigy. I didn't have the entire village cheering me on, or a big clan to train me, or even a small family to push me in the right direction.

All I had was my weapons, a tiny arsenal of jutus and a cold empty apartment, that no matter how small it was, always felt one person too big.

So that's why now, as I stare at my target, I'm worrying. Oh god, I'm worrying. Because the one thing that I was good at, because the _one thing_ I depended on, was being taken away from me.

Because, well, I missed.

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AN: Trust me, that actual chapters are going to be longer, I promise. Have fun and eat potatoes.

Review, because that always makes my day and every other author's :)


	2. Chapter 1

I'd love to thank **Dreaming101** (boss username by the way) and **Sayumi** for their wonderful reviews, although I'll try to be frank. It can be rather rude to just pop in and say what you want in the story, then leave without any actual commentary ON the fic. See where I'm going here? Anyways, please keep that in mind if you review, and not just me, but everywhere else too.

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 1**

I looked down at my mission scroll, weaving my way through the thickening crowd. The noon sun was hidden behind the clouds, but the day was hot nevertheless. You could almost taste the humidity in the air. The heat made your clothes stick to your skin in the most uncomfortable way, and as I walked through the herds of people, the stench of so many bodies so close together made my nose wrinkle in disgust. But such were the hot days of summer in the Fire Country, or Konoha, to be more precise.

Looking over the heads of shinobi and citizens alike, I finally spotted what I was looking for. Pocketing the mission scroll, I made a direct beeline towards the dango shop, sidestepping and avoiding people on the way. I sighed in relief when I reached the tiny, but more or less empty, shop, finding my target easily. Her unique purple hair pretty much gave it away too.

"What do you want, kid?" she asked me, not even looking up from her tea. I sat in the booth across from her, silently setting a folded note in front of me, sliding it over to her side of the table. She looked at me, a single eyebrow raised in question. I jutted my chin out a bit, a quiet signal for her to read it. Suspiciously, she took the note and unfolded the paper, eyes narrowing as she read further. Her eyes looked over the paper and directly at mine, gaze questioning and penetrating. If I was anything less than a true shinobi, I would've squirmed.

"It's true. Hokage-sama said so herself." I heard myself say, though my words sounded distant. Her gaze lowered back to the note, reading it twice just to make sure.

Then, with an unreadable expression, she folded it just as neatly as it was given to her and placed it in her pocket. "What about the blond kid?" She asked, still cautious, "He's strong enough, why doesn't he do the mission?"

Ouch. I almost, _almost_, winced. So I wasn't strong enough? "Naruto's running for the position of the next Hokage." I said, careful to keep my face blank, "He can't afford to go."

She gave a small, hardly noticeable nod, apparently satisfied with my answer. Leaning forward, she propped her head on her hand, looking me up and down, inspecting me, judging me. "And you?" She asked slowly, as if she was coaxing a child into saying the truth.

"What about me?"

"What do you think about... _this_? Why did you except this mission?"

I hesitated. "Well... it's my duty. As a shinobi."

When she said nothing, I knew she didn't believe a word of it. Even _I_ didn't believe any of it. The waitress set down a plate of dango in front of her before more words could be exchanged. Taking it as a dismissal, I rose from my seat and walked for the door. Just before I exitted, I heard her call me out. I turned around.

"Tell Hokage-sama I except."

I nodded, stepping out once again and disappeared into the crowded streets of the village.

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I looked down at my shaking and bloody hands, pressing my lips together in annoyance. As useful as ninja wire was and always will be, it was still painful as hell.

"You should really go see Haruno or something," Neji commented from behind me, "Those cuts look pretty bad."

I turned my head to look at him, my facial expression making it plainly obvious that I'd do no such thing.

Neji sighed. "Honestly Tenten, you should take better care of yourself." He pushed further, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm perfectly fine the way I've been living for pretty much my entire life." I rolled my eyes, rinsing my hands in a nearby stream. I could feel his gaze on my back, but I chose to ignore it. "Anyways, I won't be able to train with you for about a month or two. Mission."

"A month? Or two?" He questioned, eyebrows knitting together, "Why so long?"

I shrugged. "I'm still going to be in Konoha for the first half of the mission, though you probably won't be seeing me around too often. I have to train under Anko-sempai."

"Anko? Wasn't she the crazy protector for our first chunin exam? The one who licked Naruto's blood?"

"Yep, that's her."

The conversation pulled to a halt, leaving me and my teammate basking in an awkward silence. Standing up, I wiped my hands on my pants, blood darkening the already burgundy material.

I turned around, and for a brief moment, our eyes connected. In that brief moment, I felt as if he read my mind, of all the doubts, of the mission, of my suddenly not perfect aim. In that brief moment, my lies suddenly slipped leaving my real self left cowering and naked, unable to protect its self. In that moment, I learned what it felt like to be completely exposed.

Without even saying goodbye, I shushined away, cheeks burned red in shame. I leaned against my apartment door, catching my breath. It took me nearly forever to get my heart to stop beating so fast.

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It wasn't easy to hide behind a mask. Of course, as my case wasn't as bad as others, avoiding stepping on shattered porcelain pieces of yourself wasn't a walk in the park, no matter how thin your mask was. Especially if you were a shinobi. Being a shinobi meant not only that you were no more of a tool to thee village, a heartless warrior with the emotions of a blade, it also meant that as you were making your mask, you also had to erase the face behind it. That is what I was told in the ANBU.

However, they also taught us that as ANBUs of Konoha, killing sprees were still looked down on. Here is where they taught me control. I was to control my emotions, instead of erasing them. Emotions are good sometimes, they said, because it can impulse you to make good decisions. On the other hand, murdering, assassinating and torturing were still a part of being an elite. The final object was though, what the Hokage says, we do.

"But what if a power hungry villain somehow takes the position?" someone once asked. Our captain gave the asker, Mouse, a long, hard look, and shook his head.

"Then it is beyond our control. We still have to follow the orders given to us by the Hokage, heaven forbid he's a sadist."

I imagined our captain had thought of this before. The room went silent after that.

I remember this as I stared at my panda mask, discomfort twisting my stomach. There was still so much to learn.

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A/N: And that's a wrap! Chapter was shorter then I thought it'd be. -_- Reviews are great (no matter how picky I seem), so please let me know if you liked it, or if it needs improving, or anything really!

-Jammix


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